How can we NOT go? Really...

http://camptipsy.wordpress.com/faq/

Frequently Asked Questions:

Q) Where is Camp Tipsy?

A) Camp Tipsy is at East Park Reserviour near the town of Stonyford, Ca. It’s 113 miles from the Bay Bridge north on Interstate 5, near the town of Maxwell.

Q) Can I bring children.

A) Absolutely. This is a G rated event. There is no nudity, no experimental performance art and no reason that your kid won’t have the time of their life.

Q) What temperature is it in Stonyford Ca during Camp Tipsy?

A) It’s hot. Super hot. Arizona hot. OK, maybe not that hot but hotter than Oakland. It’s clear, dry. The landscape is kinda like Joshua Tree. It’s weird. And hot. You HAVE to go in the water hot. Too hot to be in your tent past 10:00 hot. Hang out on the boat float around and play guitar all day hot. It can get a little chilly at night, but usually not.

Q) Is there a toilet?

A) Yes, there are outhouses and port-a-potties.

Q) Is there a shower?

A) No, but a few people bring RV’s, and if your nice to them they may let you use the shower.

Q) Is there a full shop there where I can use tools to put my boat together? With saws and hammers and fasteners and a pile of lumber and braces and brackets and table legs and a welder? Can I just bring “most” of a “boat” and improvise the rest there with the pile of junk that you guys are bringing?

A) Yes, of course.

Q) Does my cell phone work at Camp Tipsy?

A) Yes, most people have a bar or 2.

Q) Is the kitchen for everyone to use?

A) It’s like a hippy dream come true.

Q) Do I have to bring a boat to Camp Tipsy?

A) There are other ways you can contribute, and you should. But you do not need to bring a boat.

Q) I have a commercially manufactured motor boat, can I bring that to Camp Tipsy?

A) Sure. But why would you? We all like to swim in and around the boats, and propellers are dangerous. The lake is calm as can be, just grab a piece of foam and paddle around with us. But I can not stop you from driving your jet boat on the lake. There are other jet skis and boats there. They are curious, of course. Please be nice. They all have guns!

Q) I don’t know anyone whose going, will it be OK if I come?

A) Sure, just be a good egg and be friendly and you will likely find the greatest collection of humans around.

Q) Does the campground have any rules? Or is it without rules, and a place that is outside the juristiction of all applicable laws and so forth?

A) It is like a state park, but it’s managed by the Beaura of Reclimation. So it’s different. Please, do not bring glass bottles. Do not bring a device that makes music, like a boom box. Instead, bring your ukelele. Don’t bring your dog. There are other campers nearby who’s ideas of how the world work are going to be vastly different. Please do not bring fireworks. They make dogs bolt, and a dog that bolts in this geography is dead. Don’t find out what “not afraid to be the bad guy” means.

Q) What does my admission to the event cover?

A) Admission to the event goes to throwing the event and throwing the boat project that is happening in June of 2010 in Venice Italy. In 2009, a group of junk boats traveled from Slovenia to Venice. In 2010, the boats will continue south. To Greece and beyond. The storage of these boats is expensive. Camp Tipsy makes this possible. The Europe trip is a non-commercial venture, and is just clowns on junk floating around and being artistic ambassadors to the world. The event is also shoulders many costs and we can in no way enforce a gate at this free campsite. You are paying because you beleive in what we do and you love us and want to smother us with affection. The effort extended to throw this event is nothing short of massive. Thank you for understanding that it all costs money. Each and every person should contribute the very reasonable and fair suggested donation price.

Q) Is Camp Tipsy safe?

A) No. Camp Tipsy is real. You need to bring what you need to survive. You need to take care of yourself. It’s camping, in the woods. There could be snakes, bears or gorillas. There is no hospital nearby.

Q) Is there a mechanism at Camp Tipsy for security?

A) No. You should keep your wits about you at all times. Especially girls. You are safe as long as you have your capacity’s. Being wildly drunk or high in general puts you in a vulnerable postion. Do not find yourself in that position. Take care of yourself, and relate any problems IMMEDIATELY to EVERYONE. If there is a creep in our midsts, WE NEED TO KNOW. There are Rangers who visit from time to time, but no station. The rangers work a few different parks, and split their time between. Theft doesn’t seem to be a problem.

Q) I can’t come to Camp Tipsy, but I want to support the junk boat project. Can I send you a donation/

A) Absolutly. Thank you. The entire project works off donations. There is a Paypal button on the home page of this blog.

Q) I have more questions, can I email you?

A) Sure. chickenjohn@chickenjohn.com

Q) I don’t have anymore questions. Can I email you anyway?

A) Yes, but that was also a question.

This is real

Chocolate chip ice cream bowl... Fer realz!

I want!

WALD Land Cruiser!

Remote viewing

Psychic, are ya?

Credit.com Blog

My recent money-related posts at Credit.com

Posted by Mark Frauenfelder, May 19, 2009 4:48 PM permalink
I've been having a blast blogging for credit.com. Here are a few recent posts:

Spend Less by Keeping Large Bills in Your Wallet: You're less likely to spend your cash if it's in large denominations, reports the authors of a paper published in the Journal of Consumer Research.

Everything You Ever Really Needed to Know About Personal Finance On Just One Page: Included in this ebook are a number of great tricks and tips for both spending less and earning more.

Make a list of the 10 most expensive things you own vs. the 10 things that make you the most happy: "Consumerist capitalism is the least oppressive system of mass trait display ever developed."

My Personal Credit Crisis - a New York Times' economics reporter's tale of financial disaster: Edmund L. Andrews says he willingly "joined millions of otherwise-sane Americans in what we now know was a catastrophic binge on overpriced real estate and reckless mortgages."

GG2BM

Girl's Guide to life in the BRC

This, my friends, is the thing...

Click it...

Monday, May 4, 2009

What is even going on here?

Here we go. The silky fucking hen. What is this thing thinking when it goes outside every day? It's like David Bowie meets Tim Burton meets Colonel Sanders. Did you just step out into the light after a night of clubbing? CHICKENS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO COCAINE, SILKY HEN.

I'm just going to be honest: I'm terrified of you. I don't know if it's the pom-pom specifically or just that I didn't know it was possible to get whites that white, but something about your look says "I'm coming to steal your dreams." So stay away from me, you dream-stealing poultry devil.

funny blogs (via woot)

The Up-And-Comers
Awkward Family Photos
Dork Yearbook
Яolcats
The All-Stars
Cakewrecks
Photoshop Disasters
Passive-Aggressive Notes
F$#@& You Penguin
Ugly Outfits New York
The Hall of Famers
Cute Overload
Found
Comics Curmudgeon
Failblog

JewRap?

WTF, exactly, is going on here?!

FWIW

Beer guy at Bonner Bee

VoxSac

Stuff 2 dooz

Some people are toxic.Avoid them

He said it better than I ever could!

D3C0d3

Bahl Hornin'

Roommate Notes...

Nom Nom Nom

Japanese Island Wastelend

From Vice

2nite in Tahoe at Lanzas

HORSEMOUTH!

Lanza's

Watchouta!

I wanna know the company name they work under...

Taxi Cab Drivers Busted at Sacramento International Airport
Posted Date: 4/9/2009

Press Release

Taxi Cab Drivers Busted at Sacramento International Airport

(Woodland, CA) – Sacramento and Yolo County law enforcement agencies today announced a multi-agency effort aimed at investigating illegal taxi cabs operating at the Sacramento International Airport. Participating agencies include the Sacramento County Sheriffs Department, Yolo and Sacramento County District Attorneys’ offices and Yolo and Sacramento County’s Weights and Measurements Department. The undercover investigation known as “Operation Road Runner” was initiated after the Sacramento International Airport received a tip from the Taxi Owners Association (SITOA). The undercover operation concluded this week at the Sacramento International Airport. Through “Operation Road Runner,” undercover operatives and detectives investigated taxi cab drivers who were transporting passengers without being properly licensed. Licenses and regulations ensure the safety of passengers who rely on this mode of transportation. Cab drivers found in violation were ordered to immediately discontinue operations until further corrective actions to safeguard the public could be imposed. The operation identified two illegal taxi companies operating three unlicensed operators, and nineteen licensing and regulatory violations. Captain Doug Lee of the Sheriffs Airport Division stated, “It is a public safety concern if there are unlicensed and uninsured taxi operators working within our airport or within our community. We will take whatever steps necessary, as a licensing authority, to protect the public from these illegal operations and operators.” Dave Lazier Chief Sealer of Sacramento County Weights and Measurements, who also participated in the operation reports “Consumers are protected by sealed meters not subject to tampering and posted rates required of all taxicabs wherever they operate. Without this protection consumers are subject to the coyote rates charged by an unlicensed operator with no recourse.” A joint statement issued by Yolo County District Attorney Jeff Reisig and the Sacramento County District Attorney’s Office stated “this multi-agency effort once again proves that collaborative efforts across county lines are critical, particularly in these difficult economic times. By working together we have the ability to investigate and respond quickly and efficiently. “Operation Road Runner” was a successful operation that protects the consumers who live in our counties as well as visitors who rely on our airport taxi services.”

Glad we didn't go to Dubai!

SOURCE : N. RAGHU RAMAN - DNA
Indians flee Dubai as dreams crash

Mumbai/DUBAI - JAN 14: It's the great escape by Indians who've hit the dead-end in Dubai.Local police have found at least 3,000 automobiles -- sedans, SUVs, regulars -- abandoned outside Dubai International Airport in the last four months. Police say most of the vehicles had keys in the ignition, a clear sign they were left behind by owners in a hurry to take flight.
The global economic crisis has brought Dubai's economic progress, mirrored by its soaring towers and luxurious resorts, to a stuttering halt. Several people have been laid off in the past months after the realty boom started unraveling.
On the night of December 31, 2008 alone more than 80 vehicles were found at the airport. "Sixty cars were seized on the first day of this year," director general of Airport Security, Mohammed Bin Thani, told DNA over the phone. On the same day, deputy director of traffic, colonel Saif Mohair Al Mazroui, said they seized 22 cars abandoned at a prohibited area in the airport.
Faced with a cash crunch and a bleak future ahead, there were no goodbyes for the migrants -- overwhelmingly South Asians, mostly Indians - just a quiet abandoning of the family car at the airport and other places.
While 2,500 vehicles have been found dumped in the past four months outside Terminal III, which caters to all global airlines, Terminal II, which is only used by Emirates Airlines, had 160 cars during the same period.
"The construction and real estate industry has been hit following the global slowdown and the direct fallout is that professionals working in the realty industry are rapidly losing their jobs," said a senior media professional, in-charge of a realty supplement in Dubai. "In fact, my weekly real estate supplement usually had 60% advertisement and ran into 300-odd pages. In the last seven weeks, it's down to 80 pages and with fewer advertisments," he added.
Mumbai resident D Nair (name changed) had been living in a plush highrise in Sharjah for the past four years. However, the script went horribly wrong when his contract was terminated. Nair used all his credit cards to their maximum limit, shopping for people back home. He then discarded his Honda Accord before returning to India for good. Nair, who stays in a rented apartment in Navi Mumbai today, has a Rs15 lakh loan with a Dubai bank.
Another such victim of the meltdown said he bid goodbye to his car in a small bylane near the airport and hailed a cab. "I was scared because a number of us were doing the same and did not want to be questioned by the police. There was no way I could afford to pay the EMI of 1100 Dhirams for my Ford Focus," he told DNA on condition of anonymity.
When contacted, the dealer for Asgar Ali cars in Sharjah said, "We are helpless and do not know how to tackle this issue. A large number of such owners are from Indian, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh and other South Asian countries."

It is f'ing scary there, as it turns out!

I tolju the zombeez are comin'!

Metairie man says stranger chewed, swallowed after taking bite out of his arm

by Michelle Hunter, The Times-Picayune
Tuesday April 07, 2009, 9:51 AM

A Metairie resident is recovering after a stranger bit a chunk of flesh out of his arm and swallowed it Saturday afternoon.
Joseph Lancellotti, 67, told authorities he did not know the suspect, later identified as Mario Vargas, 48, or why he was attacked in his front yard.
Lancellotti was gardening at his home in the 4400 block of Kawanee Avenue about 2 p.m. when he noticed a man walking toward his house, shouting angrily, the report said. Lancellotti said he couldn't understand the man because he was yelling in Spanish. But when the man got within two feet, he slugged Lancellotti in the head, the report said.
Lancellotti said he tried to defend himself with a garden rake. As the men struggled over the rake, the stranger bent over and bit Lancellotti on his right forearm, the report said. Lancellotti's flesh ripped away as he fell to the ground. The man then got on top of Lancellotti and began choking him, the report said.
It was then that neighbor Chantal Lorio, a podiatrist and director of the Wound Center at East Jefferson General Hospital, came out to check on Lancellotti. Lorio said Monday that she first thought Lancellotti was having a heart attack and the other man was trying to help him.
The stranger was still gripping Lancellotti as Lorio noticed her neighbor was lying in a pool of blood. She didn't learn what happened until she began dressing the wound -- with the stranger still clutching her neighbor's shirt.
"He said, 'He bit my arm, chewed the flesh and swallowed it in front of me, ' " Lorio recalled. She said the bite measured almost 3 by 1 1/2 inches, and was less than 1/4-inch deep.
The pair tried to calm the stranger, who never made any attempt to run away. He eventually let go of Lancellotti and walked two blocks to a parking lot, where he hovered near an empty police car, the report said. The suspect was still standing there when deputies arrived and took him into custody.
Vargas, of 724 Camp St., New Orleans, was booked with second-degree battery. He was being held Monday at the Jefferson Parish Correctional Center in Gretna in lieu of $25,000 bail.
Lancellotti's wife, Bonnie, 60, said Monday that her husband was recovering from the bite, physically and mentally. She said his sense of safety in his neighborhood has been shaken.
With all the bacteria involved, Lorio said a bite from a human is worse than an animal bite.
Bonnie Lancellotti also has concerns about the suspect, who apparently had been treated at East Jefferson General Hospital earlier in the day for a finger injury. Vargas was released 45 minutes before the attack, according to the incident report.
Bonnie Lancellotti wondered whether hospital staff noticed anything amiss while treating Vargas. "This person's clearly lost his sense, " she said. "I mean, what else can you say, eating people's skin?"
Keith Darcey, spokesman for the hospital, said, "We cannot comment on any individual patient because of privacy laws. But as a matter of general hospital policy, the emergency department has behavioral health nurses available to help diagnose patients who might require mental health assistance."

White water rafting, bishes!

North Fork run- April 3rd '09

Nuff sed

New Guinness

Guinness to offer new stout for limited time
Brew will be maltier, fizzier, and not require two-part pouring process

Diageo PLC via AP
Guinness 250 Anniversary Stout celebrates Arthur Guinness' signing of a 9,000-year lease in 1759 at St. James's Gate Brewery in Dublin
View related photos

MILWAUKEE - The makers of Guinness are touting a new stout beer in the U.S., a maltier, fizzier version of its older, creamier sibling, the world's best-selling stout.
"This is more about refreshment and zing," said Guinness master brewer Fergal Murray, who created the new carbonated brew.
The limited-edition Guinness 250 Anniversary Stout celebrates Arthur Guinness' signing of a 9,000-year lease in 1759 at St. James's Gate Brewery in Dublin, still the company's flagship brewery.

When it arrives in U.S. bars and stores April 24, the anniversary brew will be the first new stout Guinness has exported to the U.S. since it brought over Guinness Draught in the mid 1960s.
Guinness Draught, first brewed after Arthur Guinness decided to stop making ales and start making porters in 1779, became synonymous with Ireland over the centuries. More than 1.8 billion pints are consumed in 150 countries each year.
The anniversary stout will be available only in the U.S., Australia and Singapore, according to Diageo PLC, owner of Guinness and the world's largest liquor producer. The company's other brands include Johnnie Walker and Baileys.
The beer is expected to be available for about six months, said Patrick Hughes, brand director for Diageo Guinness USA. A big marketing campaign, complete with advertisements and promotions at bars, launches late this month.

Drink up
Here's a look at Guinness' new brew, Guinness 250 Anniversary Draught, and its elder sibling, Guinness Draught:
Guinness 250 Anniversary DraughtAlcohol: 5 percent by volumeCalories: 136.3 per 11.2 ouncesBrewing: Made with a double brew stream that combines two types of malts, ale and stout. Carbonated. Uses Guinness yeast, triple hops and roasted barley.Pour: A one-part pour, at an angle.Date: Launches in the U.S. April 24, in Australia and Singapore later.

Guinness DraughtAlcohol: 4.2 percent by volumeCalories: 126 per 12 ouncesBrewing: Roasted, malted barley, hops, yeast and water. The beer is nitrogenated, meaning that nitrogen and carbon dioxide combine to give it a thick, white head.Pour: Two parts, where three-quarters of glass is filled at an angle, the pourer lets the surge of foam settle, then glass is topped off.Date: First made some time after 1799, when Arthur Guinness decided to stop making ales and start making porters. Came to the U.S. in the mid-1960s.

"The brand is one of sort of strength, staying power and authenticity," Hughes said. "We think consumers are really going for brands with that strength and trusted authenticity."
They also want something new to taste, which this new beer delivers with carbonation, two types of malt and triple hops, Murray said.
Drinkers like to sit back and enjoy the flavor of Guinness Draught, he said, while the anniversary stout uses carbonation, rather than a combination of nitrogen and carbon dioxide, which is used by Guinness Draught. The result? More zing.
The taste is different, too, although it retains the rich flavor of Guinness Draught. Guinness 250 Anniversary Stout also has more alcohol, at about 5 percent by volume, compared with 4.2 percent for Guinness Draught.
Pouring will be simpler, too. This anniversary stout is poured only one way, at an angle, in contrast to Guinness Draught's famous two-part process, which involves filling the glass about three-fourths of the way at an angle, letting the surge of foam settle, then pouring the rest.
The anniversary comes in a rocky year for Diageo. As the global recession deepens and consumer confidence remains low, the London-based company has been cutting costs and shedding jobs to protect its profits.
In January, it said it may change or abandon $1.1 billion plans to reform production in Ireland and open a new state-of-the-art brewery.
More on this story

Guinness accounts for about 70 percent of stout volume in the U.S., dominating a category that makes up less than 1 percent of total U.S. beer volume, according to research firm Nielsen Co.
Guinness sales volume slipped about 3.9 percent in the U.S. in the 52-week period that ended March 7, according to Nielsen, while dollar sales fell 1.7 percent to $127.2 million in food, drug, liquor and convenience stores.
Nick Lake, vice president of beverage alcohol for Nielsen, said the introduction of the new beer "has the making of a very successful initiative," citing the brand's heritage and a trend of U.S. consumers increasingly wanting fuller, tastier beers like stouts. Lake also said consumers want more variety, and brewers are providing more seasonal and limited-release beers in response. The category was up 27.6 percent in sales volume in the latest 52-week period.

Charbay whiskey from the intertubes!

From CASK

Biggest jok EVAR!

Home > New Cars > Cadillac > CTS > 2009 > 4-door V Sedan

Estimated Payments: (monthlyPayment @ $72,555 w/ $5,000 down) $1208 /mo @ 5.49% APR

+$500/month for insurance! You would have to be a MAD baller to afford that shizzle... I need to go to baller skool, apparently.

Critters do wha?

Buggin'!

Weirder than your mom

Jam: Episode 1

Guide to internet MEMES

A meme is an idea, in case you weren't paying attention in intertube hipster class...

TP Boys and the shithawk talk

Ricky and Bubbles fight

"The Water Bong is So Smooth!"

"Reveen!!" (this is the real Reveen)

White rapper "J-Roc" "You know what I mean?"

"Shithawks!"

Ricky gets caught stealing cable

That, my frenz, iz wat I'm tokken aboot!

Love in the dumps

Tee hee

blog 4 u!

http://ifitshipitshere.blogspot.com/

I tinx we can use deez linx

PHOTOS FROM SEA OF DREAMS: I will try to keep a running list of links to photos and to videos too. If you have others, send them to spoon@anonsalon.com. Thanks, and you looked BEAUTIFUL!
Randal Alan Smith Furtographer Portraits
FlickrRaymond Van Tassel
CameraGirl
Herman Privette
Mark Rahmani
Mariell

Sweet Ass frame!

This is how i work (at work)

The Cult of Done Manifesto

1. There are three states of being. Not knowing, action and completion.
2. Accept that everything is a draft. It helps to get it done.
3. There is no editing stage.
4. Pretending you know what you're doing is almost the same as knowing what you are doing, so just accept that you know what you're doing even if you don't and do it.
5. Banish procrastination. If you wait more than a week to get an idea done, abandon it.
6. The point of being done is not to finish but to get other things done.
7. Once you're done you can throw it away.
8. Laugh at perfection. It's boring and keeps you from being done.
9. People without dirty hands are wrong. Doing something makes you right.
10. Failure counts as done. So do mistakes.
11. Destruction is a variant of done.
12. If you have an idea and publish it on the internet, that counts as a ghost of done.
13. Done is the engine of more.

Carrera Stylez

On tha cheaps!

Dragons

Dragon house at 22nd Street and 3rd Avenue. The windows are etched or filled with stained glass too.

My meeting with Colin Powell

Seeing Colin Powell speak earlier this week made me want to blog about it. This guy nailed it, though so...linkified instead!

advensher time!

Activities sight...

The owl sees

Happy v-day!!!

Valentine's dinner menu...

Oh My!

We start out the evening at 7:30pm with a complimentary Champagne toast.

Tonight’s Menu:

With Railbridge Cellars Dry Creek Sauvignon Blanc
Dungeness Crab Gomaae
spinach Tower with Shiitakes

Birds Nest of Mixed Greens
Goat Cheese Eggs, Pancetta
Meyer Lemon Vinaigrette

Roasted Red Onion Ravioli
Thyme Cream

With Talbott Vineyards Kali Hart Chardonnay

Grilled Day Scallop
Fennel & Blood Orange

With Wild Horse Central Coast Pinot Noir
or Yalumba Bush Vines Grenache

Pan Seared Alaskan SableFish
English Pea Puree, Mushroom Duxelle
Braised Pea Shoots

Dolce Quattro
Grand Marnier Pot de Crème, Mini Éclair, Frangelico Cream Puff,
Petit Four Glacé

Espresso
Crema

Crema di Limoncello

Crema di Zenzero (ginger)

Crema di Fragola (strawberry)

Crema di Mandorle (toasted almond)

This is what I found when"Googled"..........

Man in a boat.

buy used luxury cars... Srsly

Over the course of the first year of ownership, a new Maybach 62S is assessed to lose a whopping $183k off its half-a-million-dollar sticker price. That's 39% off its purchase value in the span of a year, or roughly $500 every day. The Rolls-Royce Phantom, by comparison, loses "only" about $100k, or 24%. Slightly further down-market, things are even worse... by percentage, at least: a BMW 7 Series loses a tear-jerking 51%, and a Mercedes S-Class 47%. While depreciation is expected on a new car, this is bordering on depressing.

Blue grass white wedding

Billy Idol's song, ya know?

Buggy needs to learn this...

Trick

HA!

Joxonu!

The only person I know

Who might eat the "Bacon Explosion" is Marko...

List

Of confidence schemes

Vegetarians have better sex

I can prove it!

International Delight White Chocolate Coconut

the best thing since sliced cheese. not even joking.

ps........sorry i have been neglecting you....JoxonU...................

How cool is this?

Bento box

Foodzie?

Not the same as a "Footsie"

Lookout for dominoes!

Srsly

We R goin 2 Dillian's!

The Sacramento Bee's Crime blog is a comprehensive report of crime news, trends and information for your community and beyond.

January 20, 2009

Bar fight in Lincoln costs one woman an ear, cops say

From Sandy Louey:

Lincoln police have arrested a 22-year-old woman for allegedly being involved in a bar fight that severed the ear of her opponent.

On Monday, detectives arrested Andrea Gabrielle of Lincoln on suspicion of mayhem. She was booked into the Placer County jail, according to a press release.

Police were called out shortly after midnight Sunday to a fight at Dillian's Bar and Grill at 605 G Street.

Officers said they found a 23-year-old woman who had fought with Gabrielle. The woman, who had a severed ear, was taken to Sutter Roseville Medical Center for treatment, police said.
Gabrielle had ripped off the woman's ear with her hands, police said. Doctors were able to reattach the severed ear, said Lincoln Police Lt. Terry Kennedy.

Gabrielle, who had fled the scene before officers arrived, was identified during the investigation, police said.

Categories: Arrests, Assaults

Last word of LOLCat bible

8 Mr. John sayz "it woz me! I saw all diz freaky stuffz! me!"
9 Teh birdKat sayz "you me, we bruvs k? luv teh Ceiling Cat nof me coz ai tow am liek Slave-kitteh to teh Ceiling Cat!"
10 Then birdKat says "this profissy, it all come true, here it comez, any second now, not long to wait, very soon"
11 "let bad kittehs be badz, let skanky kittehs be skankz, left left-handed kittehs be lefteez, let good kittehs be good"
12 Jebus sayz "incomingz!" (reelly dis time)
13 "Ai is First and Last and Always" (goff kittehs lov dis bit)
14 "Cheezburgrz be wif kittehs wot had a baff"
15 "Magic dogs are outside! Run awayz!"
16 Ceiling Cat's kitteh is shiny.
17 Uthirst? MAGIC TOILET!
18 Da BirdKat say: if pplz adz stuff to teh profetzi of book, Ceiling Cat make them sicz, leik sayed in book.
19 And if pplz photoshpz the Heliez Bibul, the Ceiling Cat takes pplz's cheezburger away, k?
20 BRB
21 Da grase of Lord Jebus Crist be wit u kittehs fer evr n evr Amen. Fer rlz. kthxbai! (Hai tis end! Srsly! No lai!)

More (4 yer playjerz)

Topic of conversation...

HOW TO LOOK AMAZING IN PHOTOGRAPHS
By Amanda Maxwell

Another up-and-comer, Amanda is Australian and she sent us something that can’t be translated into our non-English editions because it’s an extended riff on the pronunciation of the word “douche.” It’s taken from her forthcoming book Nobody Told Me There’d Be Days Like These, which will soon be available at serpspress.com.

Sometimes the world lets me in on its secrets. Not its important secrets, just its special little ones. The kind of secrets that help me to uphold a wonderful illusion of cleverness in the eyes of my friends and family.For example, I know how to look amazing in photographs.

A little while ago I took a trip on an airplane. Sitting next to me on the airplane was a girl with long hair and curled eyelashes. She was reading a glossy magazine.“Hey,” she said.“Hi,” I said.“Do you want to read this magazine?” she asked. “I’ve finished with it.”I was grateful for her kindness, as it wasn’t the kind of airplane with television screens on the back of every seat and I had made a bad choice of paperback in the airport news agency.“Okay,” I said. “Thanks.”The girl passed me the magazine.

On the cover was a photograph of Scarlett Johansson. In the photograph Scarlett looked especially amazing. I looked at her for a long time without opening the magazine, and while I looked at her, I asked myself a question that I often ask myself when I am looking at amazing photographs of beautiful ladies: How come you look that amazing?Her hair was all everywhere, eyes looking into my eyes, mouth doing that secret thing that model mouths do. It was amazing.I couldn’t bring myself to open that magazine; for an hour or more I just kept looking at the cover.

We had hit a little bit of turbulence and the girl beside me had turned white.“I get so scared on airplanes,” she said.“You’ll be fine,” I said and squeezed her hand. Then I went back to looking at the cover of the magazine.Outside the sky was dark and empty. When the turbulence had settled down, the air hostesses came out with wine and lemonade. And then an eerie thing happened: I heard a sound. Not an airplane sound or the sound of a glass being dropped, but something like a whisper. It was coming from somewhere very close to me. I looked at the girl beside me. She was asleep.

I heard it again. “Shhh,” it said. When I looked down I realized a very scary thing. The sound was coming from the glossy magazine in my lap. I picked the magazine up carefully and very slowly put my ears to Scarlett Johansson’s lips. And this is what I heard:“Dooooouuuche.” Just that single word.“Did you say ‘douche’?” I whispered in Scarlett’s ear, but the sound was gone.I drank my glass of wine in one mouthful. I wondered if this was what it was like to lose your mind.

Douche: a shower in French; not a shower in English.

I thought about an episode of Oprah that I’d seen a few years earlier. Oprah had been interviewing a gorgeous gynecologist who had just written a book on all things lady. The gynecologist was smiling and sharing fabulous feminine tips, more of which could be found in the book if you bought it. Suddenly, Oprah stood up and said, “You hear that, ladies? Don’t douche!”And the crowd went wild. They joined her in a chorus of “Don’t douche, don’t douche, don’t douche.” Fists punching the air.But on the airplane that day the memory seemed too good to be true and I couldn’t guarantee that I hadn’t made it up. Things were very strange.

The girl next to me was awake now and looked much better.“Thanks for lending me the magazine,” I said and gave it back to her.“You’re welcome,” she said. “Great cover isn’t it?”“It is,” I said. And then I decided to be very bold. “Hey, can I ask you a question?”“Shoot,” she said.I lowered my voice to a whisper. “Well, it’s a bit of a personal question, but, you see, I’m doing some research for a health magazine and I wondered. Do you, um… douche?”She looked at me in a sideways way and didn’t say anything. The photograph of Scarlett stared out at me from her seat pocket.“Sorry,” I said. “Let’s pretend I never asked you that.”“Okay,” she said, still looking at me in that sideways way.“Okay,” I said. I pulled my eye mask on in a hurry and faked sleep. This is what it is like to lose your mind, I told myself.

Douche: a shower in French; not a shower in English.

I guess I drifted off for a while then, because the next thing I knew the girl was tapping me on the shoulder. I pulled off my mask and looked at her.“I do,” she said quietly. “I mean, I have. I mean, I do sometimes.”“You do?”“Yeah, but only with Diet Coke after we, you know, do it.”“We?”“Yeah, dudes.”“Diet Coke?”“Yeah, so I don’t get pregnant. It kills sperm.”In my head I said this to myself: The girl with long hair douches with Diet Coke after she does it with dudes so she doesn’t get pregnant.“Thanks for sharing that with me,” I said.“That’s okay,” she said.“Will you excuse me?” I asked.“Sure,” she said.

In the airplane bathroom I splashed cold water on my face and dried it off with a paper towel. I looked in the mirror and noticed that I had airplane hair. Oh well, I thought. My eyes were bloodshot too. Never mind. I tried out Scarlett’s pose, a sleepy-eyed pout, but couldn’t get the lips right. My pucker was more like a dog’s bum. “Things are very strange,” I mouthed, still watching myself in the mirror. “I think a glossy magazine just spoke to me, and all it said was the word ‘douche.’”And that was IT. That was the epiphany. That was my moment of clarity. The big breakthrough. Eureka.I said it again, “Douche,” and as the word took shape in my mouth my expression became the expression of a model. I had the perfect pout. Then it was gone. I tried whispering this time. “Douche.” Gorgeous. And again. “Douche.” Amazing. Now I had the secret. Never again would I say “cheese” for the camera.

When I got back to my seat the girl next to me gave me a conspiratorial look. She leaned over.“You were gone a long time,” she said. “Were you, um, you know, in there?”“Sort of,” I said. And with my newfound peace of mind, I let myself fall into a deep sleep.When we finally touched down I was the third person off the plane. I remembered there being a photo booth in the airport terminals and bypassed the luggage carousel to look for it. When I found it, I ducked in, whispered the d-word four times for the camera, and found the results to be very pleasing. I looked amazing.

With the strip of pictures in my pocket and a lovely feeling inside, I made my way back to pick up my bags. I didn’t get far, though, before I passed a newsstand and stopped dead. On the rack before me there were thirty Scarletts midway through saying “douche” for the camera. Sophie Dahl was saying it. J. Lo was saying it. Even Gael García Bernal was douching. I felt myself blush and looked around to see if anyone else was seeing what I was seeing. There were people all around me, hurrying to and from airplanes, pulling luggage and children along with them. And not one of them seemed to notice.

And not one of them looked amazing.

Watchout

Youtube of SneakCat

Halp

Cake or Death!

Cakes

Tanx, Robbie!

From: me
Sent: Monday, January 05, 2009 3:10 PM
To: info@seaofdreamsnye.com
Subject: Sea of dreams NYE

Sea of Dreams promoters/staffers and organizers,

Congratulations on s super line up and a great Idea for a party -I wish the line management had been more professional (or that there had been any line/door management at all).

I propose that you refund our tickets due to the complete lack of line organization.

We arrived at 1030, will call, and didn't get in until 0100. The situation was unacceptable and unsafe, by any standards. I have partied for years and am cool with lines and "get here early" and all that. This was incorrectly managed to the point of breaking many laws -I think anyone and eveyone knows that.

Given that the product we recieved was not the product that was advertised ("we strive for perfection"), we are due a full refund directly.

Please advise,

Joh

From: Robbie Kowal robbiekowal@gmail.com
To: me
Cc: Paul Liebman ; Mark Petrakis spoon@well.com
Sent: Tuesday, January 6, 2009 1:33:27 PM
Subject: RE: Sea of dreams NYE

Hi Joh

Our sincere apologies for your troubles. The responsibilty is shared by all of those in charge and we have no excuses. Our goal was a beautiful NYE celebration for all of our guests and we obviously have a lot of room for improvement.

Paul, please facillitate a refund in full.

Additionally, if you see a Sunset Promotions event that you wish to come to in the future, Id be happy to put you on the guest list (if you can find it in your heart to forgive us). Please refer to this email (so I wont forget).

Otherwise, I hope you have a better New Year than the way it began.

Robbie Kowal
S.O.D.N.Y.E. 09a partnership of...anonEventsSunset Promotionsblasthaus

yolo county BIRD sanctuary continued.........

there were also majjjiccc musshhrrroommmzzz there..........but we just took a quick photo and ''peaced-out"..........

our trip to the Yolo County Wildlife (Birds) Sanctuary...

we found a new speeecies of animal/bird, the "brown aquatic quackaduck speeeecies beast"......watch out for them........you can try with all your might for them to fly away so you can get an "action shot" on your 6.0 MEGA pixle low-batteried Sony and they will totally just sit there, not moving at all.......they are beasts!

Sea of Dreams is getting pounded on Yelp

Yikes!!!

ha!

when we were the exhibit....

it continues to aid in our on-going venture to be discovered and picked up by a television series that is yet to be announced............ many thanks to the contributors that helped get us up on that ikea wall! woot!

where the heck are you?

we can't find you (for the life of us) and it makes me want you even more!

great stylings............

not the best movie in the entire world, but she had the best style i've seen in a LONG while! lots of hand-made beauties!

first pull up, then pull down..........

I agree......

When we are done ebaying our stuffs and such, then we shall rule the world with our joxe!

We should put some jokes on here!

After we finish our ebaying, of course...